`Captivated [cynthia]

[Asher Gracin]

Asher couldn't sit around anymore; the eccentric boy had gotten tired of painting all alone in his small, but cozy flat and wanted to do something. With his loosely diagnosed "A.D.D" issue, he was hardly ever content in one place for long--the only problem with moving around was when he encountered large open areas. While his phobia had diminished quite a bit since his first year attending Hogwarts, he still felt the prickles of anxiety whenever he found himself in a spacious place.

So here he was, walking slowly down Diagon Alley. His warm-brown eyes were cast down at his sneakers, watching his shoes as they continuously hit the floor with a soft clapping noise. His fingertips grazed the walls of the buildings that he seemed to 'huddle' against. He found himself wishing for one of his companions--the alley would seem much less wide if only he had a friend to press against...not that Diagon alley was wide in the first place.

Asher flattened his palm against the hard wall of a building and willed himself to look up. The former Gryffindor reached up to adjust a strand or two of his dirty-blonde hair. Today he had mussed it up and foreword with gel and little stands on the sides were prickling out. Around his neck hung his favorite leather necklace, complete with a sterling silver hoop in the front. He reached up numbly and thumbed the cool metal as he peered around. The people hustling about the alley comforted him, making him feel as though he wasn't entirely alone.

He was about to resume his quiet pacing when he saw a familiar face across the busy alley. Narrowing his eyes to focus in, he picked out the distinct features of Cynthia Montague--a good, no great friend of his! Without hesitation, the 22 year old began to stroll across the alley--hands jammed casually in the pockets of his jeans. He came up behind her and removed his palms from the confines of his pockets, placing them gently over her eyes. It was a typical 'Asher' greeting--nice and close and extra touchy. "Guess who?" he attempted to disguise his voice, but he was sure it was in vain...everyone always seemed to know exactly who it was.

[cynthia montague]

"Asher Bradley Gracin" Cynthia smirked.

She'd been doing nothing special, as most days she wasn't either working or locked inside her apartment writing. She'd bought a couple of new quills, not that she used them that much, pencils and ball pointed pens were far more practical, but she'd found that they could be really inspiring sometimes, soft feathers and sharp edges. And they looked good in front of her window too. She'd visited Flourish& Blotts as well, but being honest, there were a lot of muggle book shops with, in her opinion, a better selection. And muggle books didn't bite.

Cynthia had been on her way home to do... well nothing when her vision disappeared, and after the first millisecond of shock wondering what was going on, she realized that it was just hands, and that they belonged to Ash. It wasn't just his voice, mostly the fact that most of her friends liked the philosophy of 'no touching unless we're high'.
That was one of the parts of Asher that she really liked, nudges and hugs and kisses on the cheeks, it was all so natural with him, let it sound cheesy, but the only way of explaining it was that being with him warmed her, inside, she always felt brighter, liked, after seeing him.

Well lately, he'd warmed her in a lot of other ways too. 'I'm bored, I'm coming over to your place', alcohol, tasteless jokes and semi-friendly cuddling had led to more. In the beginning she'd justified it to herself with his thing for physical affection, that she was merely doing a friendly favour for him. Ha. She stopped bothering about trying to make it sound appropriate quite quickly, she knew she wanted it at least as much as he did.

She loved him, as a friend he was the best she could imagine, but she'd never been in love with him, there had never been more romance that the occasional intense kiss between their sheets. They were just pleasing each other, making a boring day much better for a close friend.
It did happen though, quite often, that people asked them if they were going out. When some party just begun, it wasn't at all rare to have a few girls asking her if he was her boyfriend, the good looking guy that she shared more contact with than friends would do. Most friends. But they weren't going out, and Cynthia was convinced about that that would never happen.

She brought his hands down from her eyes and turned around, giving him a quick hug. "It's been a while" She said, smiling at the boy in front of her. Two days, but two days without him got cold.
Well okay, not these two days, she'd had this one fabulous boy, Jude, on her mind all the time, but when she thought about it, she'd missed her friend. Oh, Jude. She had to tell him about him, introduce them, Ash'd be so happy for her. Wouldn't he?

[/blockquote]

[Asher Gracin]

'Of course.' he thought as she'd identified him almost immediately. Asher knew he shouldn't be surprised. He knew his greetings were unconventional--he knew they were childish in a sense...but they were his own. And in truth, he liked his original hellos, especially when he was greeted by a warm and heartfelt hug immediately afterword.

Asher's arms fell instinctively around Cynthia's smaller form. He pulled her close and held her tight, resting his head gently on hers. He allowed his warm brown eyes to close momentarily, taking her in to the full extent. Images of heated nights flashed through his mind, all of them intoxicating. He loosened his grip on her, sliding his hands down from around her so that he could grip her hands tightly in his own.

He peered at her for a time, basking in her beauty for a time before leaning in and planting a friendly kiss on her cheek. "Too long, even if it was only like...forty-eight hours?" he laughed at how silly it sounded. He wasn't ashamed to miss her after such a seemingly short period though, it was rare they ever went so long without seeing each other. Often times they stayed at one another's house just for the company, just for the warmth, of being with another person. Whether their nights contained friction between the sheets or not, it was nice to feel loved in the darkness.

"How are you?" he asked, tearing himself away from thoughts of her. He wondered if she had missed him even a fraction of the amount that he'd missed her. He'd spent his evening curled in on himself, trying desperately to sleep without the heat of her body pressed against his. He loved her, needed her--it was a strange relationship for two best friends to have...but Asher knew he wouldn't have it any other way.

[cynthia montague]

Cynthia felt a sting of guilt as he laughed, forty-eight hours was a lot of time, and it felt like even more when she realized that a thought of him never crossed her mind during those hours. She knew how much she needed him sometimes, well usually, and she hated the thought of him alone. "Yeah, too long" She agreed. But it was a stupid worry, she stated to herself, he could've visited her - it hit her that she actually wouldn't have liked to be disturbed, ouch, but she of course wouldn't have kicked him out -, and it wasn't like she was his only friend, Asher couldn't have any problems finding company.

"I'm fine" Cynthia said, but her smiled claimed more than just fine, and she felt it, "Great actually"
Telling him about Jude would mean an end to their thing, what did they call it, friendship with benefits, but she'd never considered anything else. She loved them both in so different ways, and she highly doubted that she'd even enjoy sleeping with her best friend any more, when it meant cheating on her boyfriend. And she didn't worry about Ash, it wouldn't change really, they'd never been anything else than friends, it wasn't so odd not sleeping with each other, when she thought about it.

"I need to tell you about someone" She said excitedly, but she wanted to know how he was first. He looked happy enough, but of course she worried, she hadn't seen him for two days. "But how about you, you're okay?"

[Asher Gracin]

Asher reached up, toying with a few of the crispier strands of his hair--he was always fidgeting. Always moving. Whether it was the tapping of his foot, or the mussing of his hair, something was going on. Often times he found himself biting on his lower lip in between responses--or chewing on the inside of his cheek. Whatever it was--it was subconscious, like breathing.

"Great?" Asher echoed with a sunny smile. His eyes brightened at the prospect that his dear friend had appeared before him so genuinely happy. His hand moved from his hair down to her palm. He took her smaller hand in his and smoothed his thumb over it affectionately. He couldn't think of many people he adored more or even as much as Cynthia Montague. She was the greatest friend anyone could ask for.

He peered her over, his heart a flutter with the idea that she was so well today. "Tell me about someone?" he repeated once more, it seemed as though he was doing that a lot today. "Who?" he tilted his head; could this have anything to do with a guy? If Cyn had met someone, he'd be happy for her. Of course, it hadn't yet occurred to him that if she had met someone, it would put an end to his and her nighttime relationship.

She changed subjects, taking him aback. "Me? I'm fine." he smiled--he wasn't great like she was, but he wasn't too worse for the wear. "Better now that you're here." he wrapped his arms around her once more, it seemed like he couldn't get enough of her after not seeing her--as if he was rebounding from not being able to touch her. "Now who do you have to tell me about?" he urged, squeezing her tightly before releasing her once more.

[cynthia montague]

She couldn't see what she'd be doing without him.
She couldn't stop smiling when he touched her, just that made them so close, when most friends would hug each other on well... Funerals. And maybe birthdays, Ash was always close. Never that either of them winced, never pulled away before the other was warm, never a 'no'. Never anything to deny, for that matter.

And his smile made her smile even more, how in the world could a person be that good? He loved her back, he was happy for her, he was so happy to see her even though she'd completely forgotten about him. She so didn't deserve him. "Any time" Cynthia smiled, hugging him back, yeah, he had to track her down anytime that her presence would make him feel better, she needed him to feel good, always.

"Jude Whitby" Cynthia smirked secretively once he'd let her go. "I just met him and I'm in love".
She wouldn't have told anyone else, it sounded so ridiculous. Besides, she didn't really need anyone but Asher to know all that much about her.

[Asher Gracin]

Asher waited for her to tell him--still, his mind hadn't wrapped around the concept that what once was, could no longer be. He stood before her, still clasping one of her hands sweetly while he waited to hear why she was in such a wonderful mood. It was strange, Asher's heart was almost beating quickly--like he was so excited for her that it was taking a physical toll on his own form.

So he stood there, like a puppy about to receive a treat. Bright-eyed and bushy tailed--well, if he had a tail. He let his smile stretch wide over his face, his pearly white teeth now completely bared. Whenever he was with Cynthia, he barely stopped smiling. It was almost like he was never really living unless he was with her...strange for a friendship, yes? He saw nothing wrong with it.

He'd never seen anything wrong with the way the lived. It wasn't as if they didn't adore each other completely. It wasn't like they pretended it was someone else pressed naked against them. They knew exactly who they were kissing, who they were holding so close--it felt right in the strangest way.

The name hit him like a sack of bricks in the gut. The smile softened into one of deep thought. It wasn't so much who it was, he didn't even know this 'Jude'...it was more the second part that took his breath away. 'She loved him? She loves him?' He didn't know what to say. He didn't want to take the wind out of her sails--he didn't want her to know about the prickles of anxiety that had just shot down his spine. "That's wonderful." he willed himself to say. Thankfully he was a talented actor, and so had had practice altering his facial expressions and tones accordingly.

His whole world felt as though it was crashing down around him, but he had to stand through it all. He'd be fine, wouldn't he? Wouldn't this feeling of abandonment leave him soon?

It wasn't the sex he'd miss so much...he could find that elsewhere...it was the connection, the deep and eccentric friendship, the warmth that he was afraid to lose. He held even more tightly to her hand, terrified that the next time he let go would be the last time he held her hand in that way. He forced himself to ask another question, to be a good friend to her as she'd been to him for so long. "Where'd you meet him?" he murmured, his smile widening.

[cynthia montague]

He smiled, but it was definitely faded. What was it, was he disappointed? For what? Cynthia worried, but she could believe his 'That's wonderful', and from that, her thoughts kind of trailed off to Jude again. "I know" she said, well almost squeaked, and was about to hug him again. But she realized that maybe she'd have to cut down on the touching. Just a little.
Of course he was happy for her, she knew that she'd been jealous, well at least a little, but Ash was so much better than her.

"At the pub" Cynthia answered him, still somewhat relieved when his smile widened again. Not that she had anything to worry about. "He's a musician" she said dreamingly, "he's beautiful, and he loves me too, I'm sure" she happily added. "We had a drink after I closed and then he followed me home and I almost fell asleep with him in the sofa, but then I didn't and we had coffee and he stayed there with me all the night" Cynthia rambled on, before noticing how stupid it sounded. But she doubted that Ash would mind, she was always more relaxed around him, thought less about how her words sounded. The man didn't like her any less when she wasn't so eloquent, she loved him so. "I sound ridiculous" she said, laughing slightly at herself.

"What have you been up to?" Cynthia asked him, hoping to hear some sick story about some sick party she'd missed, it would make her happier, knowing her best friend had had a good time too. Although it might be impossible to enjoy oneself as much as she had the past few days.

[Asher Gracin]

A musician. He'd played a song for her. Asher searched himself numbly for another reason to keep his smile plastered on his face. He found his reason to smile in the fact that she was smiling. Asher reached up to her face, cupping her cheek and smoothing a thumb gingerly over the soft flesh that lay there. "That's so great, Cyn." he murmured sweetly--he truly meant what he said. This 'Jude' guy sounded good for his best friend, if he was meant to lose her to anyone he was glad it was a fellow musician.

"He sounds like a good guy." he let his hand fall from her face, tucking his hands into the pockets of his jeans so that he would avoid touching her so readily. Staring at her now, he began to realize that she was no longer his to hold. He was sure no matter how amazing this guy was, he would not understand Asher's need for physical contact. Asher couldn't blame him, it sounded like a stupid excuse when he explained it to people who hadn't spent a great deal of time with him.

"Ridiculous? Not at all." he waved her off, she didn't sound ridiculous...his reasoning for not being completely excited for her was ridiculous. How long had he expected the nights of bliss to continue? Forever? Surely not. It was bound to happen sometime or another and Asher did his best to count himself lucky that he'd been replaced by a pretty decent fellow--or at least Jude sounded to be that way. At least they hadn't slept together the first night...that gave Jude some extra points in Ash's book.

The attention was pushed back on him and it made him uncomfortable for a brief moment. After this news he couldn't help but feel alone in the crowded alley. It was as if he was standing all alone in front of a vast plain--he couldn't feel the heat of the bustling people around him. He couldn't hear the dull humming of their voices as they chatted with one another. He saw Cynthia before him, but he couldn't feel her. That familiar grip on his lungs made it hard to breathe--but he stayed still. He wouldn't let her see the uncertainty he felt. He couldn't. He told her he would have died for her, why not start today?

"I've been..." Asher began to rock back and forth between the balls of his feet and his heels, "I've been working on my art. It's all I ever do when I'm not with you." he smiled. His divorced parents kept him from needing to work--sending money from both ends with the help of his step-parents that he'd never met. It wasn't that Asher was lazy or that he didn't want to work--but with his strange fears and issues, it was hard to get a good job...or one that he'd be comfortable doing. "I managed to write a new song." he shrugged. "But that's not nearly as interesting as your story. Come on, tell me more." he smiled--in many ways, Asher was like a 'girl friend' of Cyn's, he liked hearing the gossip and he enjoyed going shopping whenever she bothered to take him. "What song did he play? How long have you known him?" If they continued to speak, maybe he could push past the feelings of vulnerability that threatened to take hold of him.

[cynthia montague]

"He is" Cynthia smiled. She'd been eager to introduce them, but when she thought about it, she'd noticed that Jude wasn't the sweetest guy, not to other people as far as she was concerned, and her smiled bittered slightly when she realized that Ash probably wouldn't see her boyfriend as the friendliest man in London. But she knew that Ash would like to like him, and she trusted Jude to try.

Something was wrong, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it, this unpleasant feeling.
She felt guilty again, imagining Ash in his apartment with just easels and instruments as company for two days. But he enjoyed it, so she figured that she was just being egocentric, worrying about him having a hell whenever she wasn't there, the sun didn't spin around her, after all. Cynthia shrugged, she could tell him at least five thousand details about Jude, at least ninety of them explaining his voice, but the unpleasant feeling was still there. "Something he wrote," she said, "And uh, two days". The last part embarrassed her a little. People didn't fall in love in two days - gosh, it had been two hours for her.

"You've got to play me the song you wrote" Cynthia urged him, the hours she'd spent listening to his music, reading his writing, watching his art were uncountable, and she really wasn't planning on quitting that habit. That awful feeling wouldn't leave her, but she didn't know what to do about it. It had never crossed her mind that maybe the phobia of his was somewhat contagious, that maybe she'd become depending on his touch.

[Asher Gracin]

Ash rocked back and forth a little while longer before ceasing all motion. He cleared his throat and peered intently at her, it was like he was looking at a different person but he knew she was the same old Cynthia he knew so well.

At the information he was given about how long they'd known each other, Asher's mouth fell open. "Two days?" he repeated with a soft laugh--it was not one of mockery or spite, merely surprise and amaze. It wasn't as if it was impossible to fall in love so quickly, it was just so unlikely. "I hope this isn't a Romeo and Juliet sort of story..." he said slowly, knowing the ending to that play very well. "I'd hate to lose you." he murmured, knowing that in the end Juliet died because of this two day love...or maybe it was three days?

Thinking about the story, Asher wasn't really sure who he would be. The nurse perhaps? No, he wasn't like a guardian to Cynthia at all. He took care of her from time to time when she allowed him the task, but they certainly didn't think of each other in that 'motherly'/'fatherly' sort of way. It would have been rather twisted if that were the case. Upon closer examination, he realized that he didn't really fit into the Romeo and Juliet scenario...maybe he didn't fit in her life anymore at all? No, he wouldn't allow himself to believe that she could forget him completely for a fellow she'd known a mere two days.

"It's not all that special." he admitted about his newest song. "I'm not terribly proud of it." he found himself longing for her contact--wanting to remove the cold that'd settled inside him. He took his hands from his pocket, stepping closer and wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "Want to go get a drink? Something to eat? We look pretty funny just...standing around in the middle of Diagon Alley." he reflected with a brighter smile. They could talk more freely when they weren't out in the open.

[cynthia montague]

"I know" Cynthia said, smiling along with his laughter, "It's sounds so stupid and foolish, but it's real, you know, it's right". She shook her head, still smiling when he mentioned Romeo and Juliet. She remembered that she'd been happy to die at any give moment in Jude's arms, but she hadn't been thinking about Asher then. And she knew that he'd also be the only one keeping her alive if something happened with Jude. "You won't get rid of me" she stated.

"I bet it is" she said, "Wonderfully special just like you" she chuckled lightly, her smile brightened a lot when the uneasy feeling released, when he touched her again. "When did you start caring about what other people thought about you?" Cynthia taunted him, "But I wouldn't mind some coffee actually". She'd had a cup just an hour before she ran into Ash, but she figured that it would be easier to be with him if they both had something to fidget about other than each other.

Being honest, she wasn't afraid of him touching her or her touching him, it was the fact that it had a line now, that they had to stop at some point that made her feel awkward. It was definitely better having coffee with him than hugging him and suddenly realizing that their hands were in the wrong places. Ash wouldn't put her in a position like that, but who knew, they'd both developed habits by now.

"We could pick something up and go to my place if you'd like to" Cynthia shrugged, it was always easier to talk with him in privacy. And it wasn't so hard to understand that despite the phobia of his, he wasn't enjoying half London hearing everything they talked about. Who would, even if they're only strangers?

[Asher Gracin]

"It's not stupid at all, Cyn." he assured her, his arm still wrapped around her shoulders. He was sure this gesture was not too touchy, right? It was close, but not too close? He hoped she wouldn't shove him off. He leaned his head down, resting his cheek on the top of her head affectionately as they began to walk toward a place they could get a drink. Asher wasn't a huge fan of coffee himself, but he did love hot chocolate. "I'm really happy for you..." he said softly as they walked.

His head was spinning--heart and soul torn in half between two extremes. One half of him, the better half, was completely thrilled for her new love that had sprouted in her absence. The other half felt strangely abandoned--lost, lonely...but he'd never admit it. Never--even though parts of him that had once been warmed by her now felt frigid, he'd remain sturdy. Always there for her, like he'd promised.

He navigated them through the crowded streets--hugging her close to his body as they slipped through the cracks in the crowds. "Special?" he snorted. "Yeah, the 'special' kind of special..." he laughed, referring to the fact that he was a bit...off. "We'll see." he smiled--of course he'd play it for her sometime, he showed her all his work. He was sure she had a stack of his art somewhere--little things he'd given her over the years--little things that had been destined for the garbage before she'd saved it...He loved that about her, she admired his scraps...just like he admired her poetry.

"But yeah, your place sounds good." he admitted as they reached a small shop that served what they were looking for. Asher opened the door for her, smiling as the bell chimed merrily in response to the door's movement. He held it open, "Stunningly beautiful women, first." he grinned broadly--he was of course being playfully honest.

[cynthia montague]

"Thanks" Cynthia smiled. How could she even have been worrying about anything else, of course Asher wouldn't be anything but happy for her. He was too good,
"Every good kind of special" she assured him and wrapped her arm around his waist. There couldn't possibly be anyone else in London left so genuinely loveable. He was an endangered species, different from the crowd but the most fascinating and wondrous creature out there.

"Oh thank you" she smiled and stepped in. She loved him, and knowing that he loved her back was so comforting. He treated her like a lady, even after seeing her getting ridiculously drunk, snogging friends' girlfriends, following some strangers home, after seeing her completely consciously sleeping with her best friend. He respected her and that made Cynthia feel wanted, loved. Needed.

"Outrageously gorgeous men order" Cynthia said with a smirk playing on her lips. He was indeed gorgeous, it had always been amusing watching the faces of jealous witches as they passed, holding each other close. And it was a wonder, that the body of his had been hers for that many nights. It was almost with bitterness that she remembered the sweet taste of his lips, the hungry look in his eyes, the sound of his racing breath and the feel of it against her skin. Being that close. No, she couldn't think like that, she shooed the flashback away together with the bitter taste. They'd had a good time and she was happy about it. She knew that she couldn't have both, Jude was closer now and she didn't want it in any other way.

The scent of coffee calmed her down, thank god, she didn't want Ash to know how those images still made her body tremble and mouth water. It was a good excuse, eh? 'What's wrong, Cyn?' 'Oh, nothing, I just need caffeine'. Maybe not.

[Asher Gracin]

(Sorry for the delay :/ Life was chaotic!)

"Order? Joyous day, how did I ever get so lucky?" he grinned broadly--of course, sarcasm was a fairly new discovery for Asher. It had only been about a year ago that Cynthia had finally explained to him what 'sarcasm' was, how it was used, and the general voice patterns that went along with it. Before, he'd taken everything anyone ever said word for word--which had lead to some interesting and confusing moments.

It had clicked when she had given him a few choice examples. The classic Asher 'Ooooohhhhhh' with a nervous laugh and a shake of his head had ensued. They'd had a good laugh about it. For months after, every time he'd heard anything said 'sarcastically' he'd lean over and quietly ask Cyn if what the person had said was, in fact, sarcasm. It was an interesting adjustment period--but now, the boy seemed to have grasped the concept.

Asher re-snaked his arm around her, placing a kiss atop her head as he guided her to the counter. He dug around in his pocket for some loose coins and placed them on the counter--ordering their javas of choice. With a polite 'thank you', he escorted Cynthia to a small area where they'd wait for their beverages to be finished up.

He began to hum quietly, all the while glancing over his dearest companion. He couldn't help the way he longed for her, though he knew he'd have to control himself from now on. The thought of being alone with her at her apartment suddenly seemed so scary...mostly because he wasn't sure he could break the habit so quickly. He didn't know if he'd be able to erase all the images of her beneath him, on top of him, against the wall...he could feel his heart beginning to speed just thinking of all the heated nights he'd spent staring at her...admiring her...

She was a work of art. The greatest masterpiece of all. He realized that it would be much harder to remain conventional friends than he initially thought...