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Post by cynthia montague on Feb 10, 2009 11:38:21 GMT -5
Cynthia lazily sat up again as he came back with the coffee. Her vision should be all blurry, her eyes should be hurting from being open, but they didn't. She couldn't close her eyes, couldn't stop watching him. "No, thank you Jude" she smiled and tugged at his sleeve to make him sit down next to her again. She reached out, took her cup of coffee and blew a little on the surface of it. It was caffeine, but she had a feeling of that anything warm would put her to sleep now. She felt so safe and relaxed.
She leaned against his side, she was tired enough to not think about what exactly he thought, all that mattered was that she knew he liked her. Her senses were still sharp as wide awake though, he still smelled just like heaven, she could almost hear his heartbeat and knowing that his skin was there, just beneath their clothes was enough to burn her, warm her much more, far deeper than the cup between her hands did. Oh, yeah his coffee was divine, too.
She'd only taken a few sips of it, but she gave up and put it back on the table, and when she leaned back again this time, she put one arm over him. "Please don't leave me" Cynthia mumbled. She didn't get what she'd been so worried about before, it was just to ask him to stay. Somewhere, not so deep down any more, she knew that he wanted to. And now she had make sure he wouldn't be gone when she woke up.
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Post by jude whitby on Feb 10, 2009 16:14:32 GMT -5
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Post by cynthia montague on Feb 10, 2009 16:42:13 GMT -5
Cynthia could definitely hear his heart beating when he whispered to her. Oh, no it was probably her own. She'd pass out if he didn't stop complimenting her soon. Not that she'd mind it now, when he was there. When he promised to stay. Yeah, it was her own heart, it was about to explode. Strange how that wasn't tired at all, when she barely could move her body even though she desperately wanted to hold him tight and speak every pretty word she'd ever heard against his lips. Her heart had surely been put under the most pressure that night, working enough for a week during those few hours.
She'd considered sleeping in her bed, but she wasn't that sure of that she would be able to make it all the way to the bedroom any more, and well, her satin sheets had nothing on Jude, he was much more comforting and warm. "Good" Cynthia purred and closed her eyes. Her good night kiss. She sat up again and looked at him for a second before it clicked, "You can't sleep like that" she exclaimed, cursing herself for her selfish stupidity. How'd she completely forgotten about his comfort?
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Post by jude whitby on Feb 10, 2009 17:04:41 GMT -5
[/i] can sleep or no..." all that matters is you. he finished inside his head. Jude didn't really care if he would have to sit up and sleep, if he'd have a painful neck in the morning, or if he wouldn't be able to feel his legs. But he guessed that she, like him would feel something about his comfort, and he wouldn't want to upset her. She had already showed him where her bedroom was, so she obviously had one, but Jude wasn't sure how to ask her to go there, without sounding like he sexual intentions. "I guess we could go to your bedroom, to sleep." He knew that she wouldn't take it the wrong way, seeing that he had not sounded like a guy with wrong intentions saying it. "I could carry you, if you don't think you'd be able to make it." He teased, though he actually did mean it seriously, she did look as if she was about to pass out every given moment. [/size] [/ul]
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Post by cynthia montague on Feb 10, 2009 17:30:51 GMT -5
"Of course it matters" Cynthia insisted, it mattered the most. She had to smile about how he formed his words, it was rather obvious that he tried hard to make it sound as proper as possible, and that was adorable. She scoffed when he offered to carry her. In fact, it wasn't a bad idea at all, but she'd feel stupid, and decided that it wouldn't be worth it. She took his hand and stood up, rather slowly walking to her bedroom with a pounding heart and unsteady legs. He was actually staying. "See," Cynthia said once they reached the room, "I'm not that weak" she smiled. She was lying.
She let go of his hand and laid down on her bed, pulling the covers over her. Cynthia hoped he understood it himself, that he was supposed to come close, lay there next to her, against her, being warm and soft. Of course he did, she hoped he wanted to as well. Of course he did, but she still couldn't stop thinking that this was all too good to be true. She believed Jude when he said that he was staying, but what if he wasn't real? What if some of hers had dared her to try some fishy drug and this was all just a trip? Then hopefully she'd taken an overdose, she wanted to keep this dream forever, she needed Jude, now, close. Even though she was falling asleep.
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Post by jude whitby on Feb 11, 2009 17:15:27 GMT -5
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Post by cynthia montague on Feb 12, 2009 0:51:11 GMT -5
She had to be high, palms against her dream boys chest, drifting to sleep, it couldn't be real. But it was good enough to make reality worthless. She urged herself to kiss him on the lips once, before closing her eyes again. Holy shit she'd never get used to that feeling. She took her lips from his, later than she'd planned, and closed her eyes. "Good" she purred, "Good night".
Her heart was frenetically pumping, but she was convinced of that if he wasn't there, the rushes of warm blood through her wouldn't be enough, she'd freeze. Good thing he was there. She really didn't mind that he could feel her heart beating, it was embarrassing in ways, him seeing what he was doing to her, but it was rather obvious now, that she was madly in love with the man in her bed. Long time since that happened the last time. Cynthia fell asleep, with the scent of him in the air she breathed, with the taste of him on her lips and with the sound of his breathing, in his arms. She'd never been happier closing her eyes., she'd have marvellous dreams.
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Post by jude whitby on Mar 15, 2009 14:23:30 GMT -5
Jude woke with eyes closed, he could not help the big grin on his face. It was strange he tried to tell his lips to frown instead, but it was as if they had a life of their own. His stomach was acting up too, it felt as if it was full of butterflies, tacky perhaps but so true. His heart felt as if it could burst of happiness any given minute, his nose full of the loveliest scent he had ever smelled. His whole body felt light and heavy on the same time. Jude had never felt more a life.
It was amazing that a dream could do that to you, make all your senses open up and absorb everything around you. To make you feel this alive. Jude somehow manged to smile even bigger thinking about the brunette from his dream. Her smile, her big blue eyes and perfect skin still burned on his retina. She had been so perfect, beyond perfect. You would think that he would also be sad, he differently thought. But something in Jude knew it had not been a dream, it was far to real to be a dream. He could still smell her, feel her heart pumping, no racing against his chest. He opened his eyes, only to find that his memory of her had not done her justice. How could anyone be this beautiful? A very big part of Jude wanted to shake her, wake her just to hear her voice again, to talk to her. Why did he always have to be this selfish? Slightly angry with himself Jude settled with just looking at the beauty, counting her heartbeats.
Normally this would be the time that Jude sneaked out of the bed, and out of the girls apartment. Actually at this point he would not still be there. It was not like Jude to ever be the slightest interested in a girl for so long, not like this anyway. Jude did not wanted to leave the girl in his arms, not ever. Of course, he would have to at some point but not right now. Right now he just wanted to hold her, and count her heartbeats making sure they were even. Only one thought kept him from being the happiest he had ever been, what if she did not want him? He knew that it was silly, thinking of the events that had taken place last night, he had had not doubt that the feelings were mutual. But some of the confidence he had had last night, had disappeared. Again, he wanted to wake her, to be confirmed that his feelings were returned. So self-selfish he thought.
Jude could not stand himself, and the fact that he just wanted to wake Cynthia up for his own enjoyment. So he gently removed her from his arms, kissed her on her cheek and went to the kitchen. He made the coffee the magical way, with a cigarette in his mouth. It did not take more than two minutes for the coffee to be finished, and Jude was grateful he could not wait to get back to the bedroom. With a mug in each of his hands and a cigarette in his mouth, he made his way back desperately hoping that she would be awake.
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Post by cynthia montague on Mar 16, 2009 13:52:42 GMT -5
Cynthia woke up thrilled, subconsciously having anticipated waking up to see Jude all night. And when she found herself alone in the bed she felt like screaming, she would have if she had been able to, if she hadn't been too shocked. She'd really believed him last night, about commitment and all that, and realizing that he'd been lying now made it hard to breathe, because she'd fallen for him, so hard. Cynthia could feel tears burning beneath her eyelids threat hing to break out as she figured that her love had probably left as soon as she'd fallen asleep, as soon as he clearly wouldn't be getting some from her that night. When did she become that gullible? She was disappointed in him, but far more mad with herself -- and she wasn't quite sure if it was for believing him last night or for falling asleep and letting him go. Probably the second, seeing that last night seemed to have been the culmination of her life.
But somehow she managed to hear footsteps below her panicked thoughts, and feel cigarette smoke in the superficial breaths she managed to take. And a smile spread on her face, first because of the realization of that she didn't have to be alone, and a millisecond later, because she realized that the first person coming to her mind was a smoker. Seriously, who else could it be? A tear rolled down her cheek, and whether it was of happiness or simply because they'd been building up underneath her skin for too long, she was quick to wipe it away. Cynthia jumped up from the bed, quietly cursing over the sheets holding her back. She hurried to go look for the boy in the apartment, and almost crashed with him in the doorway to the bedroom.
She looked at him for a second without saying a word, biting her lip rather troubled about the cigarette and cups of coffee. But then smiled, she couldn't look at the gorgeous figure without, and took the cigarette out of his mouth, stood up on her toes and kissed his lips. She'd missed that a lot while being asleep, unable to control her body. "Good morning" Cynthia said after pulling away, after quite some time, and placed his cigarette back between his lips.
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Post by jude whitby on Mar 17, 2009 12:04:05 GMT -5
Jude had been quite surprised at meeting her in the doorway that he had nearly dropped the two mugs in his hand. Luckily he manged to catch balance before dropping them on the floor. He was even more surprised by her kiss, but it was a sweet surprised - though it almost made him drop the mugs again. "'Morning love" he manged to say before she placed the cigarette in his mouth again. He went to place the mugs on bed table, not wanting to risk dropping them. "I didn't wanted to wake you up, and I thought you'd might like a cop of coffee." He explained as he made his way across the room and back to her. "I'm sorry if I did... wake you up."
Jude only now, holding a hand on her chin, noticed an old tear in her eye. He wondered for a moment as to why she would have been crying, of what he might have done wrong. It did not take him long to figure out that she must have thought that he had left her. How self-selfish for him to think that he had that impact on her, but what else could it be? He was mad at himself for having left her in the bed, after all he had promised her that he would be there when she woke up. He gently caught a wisp of her hair and placed it behind her ear. "I'm sorry if I scared you."
Jude was sorry and confused. He had never felt anything like this about anyone before. He had never cared about anything or anyone like this before, and he did not want anything bad to ever happened to her, and most importantly - he did not want to hurt her, even the slightest. And there he was scaring her. He let the hand holding the cigarette to his mouth, he needed the nicotine to calm him down. Truth to be told, Jude was a bit scared too. He was not used to deal with emotions like these, or any real emotion. And Cynthia had just over one night changed his whole life. Now he had someone who counted on him, someone who he did not want to let down.
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Post by cynthia montague on Mar 17, 2009 13:30:33 GMT -5
"You're so sweet" Cynthia cooed, she wasn't used to having stunning men making her coffee in the morning. And stunning wasn't even close to what she'd call Jude if she only had the words. It didn't make sense to her, what this Prince Charming was doing in her apartment, how in the world she'd managed to get him to follow her home last night. A boy like him should be chained to her floor, screaming for help, but Jude seemed to be there by own free will. Not that she protested or anything. "Don't worry" Cynthia smiled, "You didn't wake me up".
Cynthia instinctively wiped her eyes with the back of her hand as he apologized once more. "Uh" she started awkwardly. Now she realized how stupid it had been to have gotten all winded up about thinking that he was gone. They weren't actually dating, it wasn't like they were a couple. Commitment could mean "I kinda like you, let's go on a few dates and see how it turns out". She felt quite embarrassed now and looked down at her feet, away from his beautiful blue eyes. Cynthia had laughed every time some desperate fangirl had managed to hook up with someone of her friends and on the sober next day expected him to still want her. Now she was the one being clingy.
She looked up at him again, oh Merlin he was beautiful, how could anyone not need him? How come she hadn't started stalking him from the second Jude Whitby was called up to the sorting hat? It didn't make sense how he'd been alive for twenty years and still not snatched up. Well yes, he obviously had high standards, and now she felt even more stupid about having believed that she could ever meet those requirements. And worried about that judging from the look of his face, that god damn tear might have freaked him out a bit. Cynthia chuckled nervously as she felt her cheeks heating up. Oh god she was blushing again, how the hell did he do that? "Is it really that obvious?" she asked him cautiously.
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Post by jude whitby on Mar 17, 2009 16:18:24 GMT -5
Jude was also very confused concerning what they were. They were not dating - unless you would call the last night a date. And as much as he would like her to be, Cynthia was not his girlfriend. But Jude was sure that they were something, something big. He just did not really know how to express his feelings without scaring her off. Jude also felt as if he was ought to be honest with her, tell her about the heavy drinking and late nights. But she must have already figured it out, considering how they met. Still, he thought he owed her the whole truth; how he did not really care about anything in his life but her, how he did not like to have proper jobs, or having to meet a certain place on a certain time. It was not his way of life. He was not even sure she knew that he was not a pure-blood, though he highly doubted that could change how she felt, perhaps only complicate it a bit.
"Kind of" he laughed softly, friendly in a none mocking kind of a way. "Now you're turning pink." She was so cute standing there he thought, bed-shaped hair, short and pink cheeks. Even in the mornings she was more beautiful than any girl, he had lied his eyes upon. "I don't know about you, but.." His voice had turned serious now, as he forced himself to look her in the eye trying to find the right words. "Fuck, I really feel there is something.." This had never happened to Jude before, he could always find the right words. He decided to give up and instead turn to the window to toss the cigarette out. "Fuck it" mumbled to himself. He turned almost ran the two meters back to the girl, placed his hands on each side of her head and pulled her closer to him, placing his lips on hair. He didn't let go until moments later. "I really feel..you know..Yeah."
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Post by cynthia montague on Mar 18, 2009 9:20:28 GMT -5
Cynthia didn't like the serious tone of his voice, she figured that it must have had something to do with the realization of that she was depending on him, his 'kind of' hadn't sounded upset or anything, but she would have freaked out if someone turned out to be so attached to her after one night. She certainly couldn't blame him if he felt pressured and awkward now. She stared at him wide-eyed, both scared of and anxious about what he was going to say. And she felt her heart breaking. It wasn't like she had anything against curse words, but she couldn't help but to get horrified over the thought of that she'd upset him, and she had a hard time breathing evenly when he took his hand off of her cheek and turned away. She felt like crying again, but that would only make it worse. Cynthia crossed her arms tightly around her ribcage to keep herself together while she stared at him by the window, listening to him swearing for himself.
And before she knew it, she could feel the safe, familiar warmth of his body again, and she was relaxed and smiling again. Cynthia knew that she could never, ever, ever get enough of this boy, all she wanted was to be his, always, she loved him more than she'd ever thought was possible, even for those naive little Hufflepuffs, and it didn't seem quite as intimidating any more, when he apparently was okay with having her still for a while longer. That was everything she could feel that she needed now, Jude's acceptance, his smile and his embrace and his 'Yeah, you can stick around'.
His words made her knees go weak and her heart run amok, now that she knew that he didn't mean any harm. The tiny part of her mind that against all odds was still thinking rationally hated her for hoping for the best, but Cynthia couldn't help it. She took his hands and held them against her chest, she wasn't embarrassed about her messed up heartbeats any more, what was the point in hiding how he made her feel any more when it was pretty much all or nothing? Cynthia looked at him for a couple of seconds before daring to open her mouth. "Um, do you..." Merlin the girl was a poet, it wasn't supposed to be hard for her to find pretty words, nevertheless speak them, and here she found herself tripping over the syllables. "Are you saying that... Uh, that you kinda, maybe, might... um...". She lost her courage and looked down on the floor again, she was afraid of him seeing any disappointment in her eyes if it would turn out that she had hoped for too much. If it all ended up as nothing but a memory of a glorious night, she wouldn't want him to see her completely ruined. "... love me?" Cynthia continued.
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Post by jude whitby on Mar 18, 2009 12:44:37 GMT -5
Jude stated at his own hands resting on her chest, he could feel her fast heartbeats, and he knew she felt the same. Her heart was racing, and he knew his would too if it wasn't ruined by all the late nights. He wasn't sure if liked having them resting there, he liked the warmth from her skin and touching her, but he was so afraid her heart would stop while his hands were still there. Silly thought, but it was just going so fast! He kept them, now scared that if he removed them it would stop, like a compulsion he decided never to remove them. He was still starring at them - his hands - as she began to speak.
Did Jude love her? He wasn't sure - if love meant to care about someone more than you'd ever care about yourself, the world. If love meant that you honestly think you would die, without the other then he did love her. Very much in fact. But Jude had never loved anyone before, no one except his grandfather and well... that was a different kind of love than he felt for Cynthia. Obviously. The last thing Jude would ever want to do was to hurt the girl who's heartbeats he could feel under his hands, but he wasn't perfect guy he had nothing under control in his life, and he didn't plan on having anytime soon. And he wasn't by any definition a mother's dream, quite the opposite perhaps. Still he knew none of these things mattered to Cynthia, she had already seen most of his bad habits - but it mattered to him, he wanted her to have the best of the best.
"Yeah it does" his voice wasn't more than a whisper. He was still fighting a need to leave her, for her own good. It was selfish of him to stay, but he knew it would be no good trying to live his life without her. "But - " He hesitated for a moment not knowing exactly what he was trying to say. "But you know love, I'm far worse than I seem." He smiled a sad little smile. "I don't want to hurt you." He kissed her forehead gently, "not ever."
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Post by cynthia montague on Mar 18, 2009 13:38:57 GMT -5
She looked up at him again. He loved her. Cynthia was about to burst out of happiness until he spoke that 'but'. She would have traded it though, why was he trying to complicate it? It was as simple as it could be. So she pouted instead of smiling. "Then don't act all heroic now" she whined as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "I love you" Cynthia stated, it was easy to speak now, when she wasn't afraid of making a fool out of herself and appearing as some clingy goose. "I need you Jude, I just want to be with you" she explained. Cynthia looked at him, she didn't care any more, those words had never even been close to what she'd felt for anyone else, and it wasn't like her to expose her weaknesses like that, but she knew that those words were completely true. And Jude was one hell of a gorgeous weakness, she'd show him off to the world any time. She let a slight laughter slip through her lips, the sun would be envy him.
She cleared her throat, realizing that she'd lost herself in her thoughts. "Um, my point is..." Cynthia said and tried to get back on track. "Don't make a big deal out of it" she begged him. "You know you scared me earlier and um..." Now she got kind of embarrassed again. "Don't try and tell me you haven't figured it out yet, you're the only one I'll ever want, and I wouldn't manage without you anymore." Cynthia took her arms off of him and went back to sit on the bed. She took a cup of coffee in her hands, realizing it would get cold soon.
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